Okay hi
I find it rly hard to compartmentalise my work or my thinking into neat linear narratives. I think more and more people are feeling this. Can’t escape the flashes of terms like ‘rhizomatic-thinking’ and ‘cybernetics’ etc…
and I think that’s rly reflecting this acknowledgment - things are multifaceted. A moment is multiple times/experiences/realities at once. I think the internet has certainly encouraged or illustrated this semi-new perspective. Deleuze and Guattari etc were thinking of this in wat, 80s? And Derrida and and and. I mean the thoughts aren’t new. And these r just in the western cannon, which is def what I grew up learning, like most of y’all. But fr, other cultures, as we know, have very different ways of understanding this world. Ways that aren’t so formulaic and cause-n-effect obsessed.
But it’s rly hard to undo the conditioning. So my wrk flips between a bunch a these contradictions- I’m constantly rationalising spaces, breaking them into series of protocols and parts, acknowledging the maths and rules that build a person or a space. It’s very cold. And allows a removal of myself that lets me see the world ‘clearly’ without feeling. But feelings are obviously still very true. I get very lonely sometimes, and insecure. And I want to escape it, or explain it away. By zooming out, removing myself - taking a third person perspective and converting wrld back into a sum of parts.
It’s really messy - the world, I mean. Our experience of it… and so it’s an endless cycle of trying to force it into a coherent narrative shape - or a set of themes - failing to do so - n sorta just accepting its nuanced rhziomatoc moment-by-moment guasian blur. It’s layered.
And I need to fr come to terms w that. Even if it feels I’ve failed to grasp a SomEthIng - to organise it. Hold it. It feels like this room. And at least that’s accurate, for me at least, even if it’s not neatly put for all. I feel I’ve done the impossible and invisible task justice. Cos it’s impossible. So it’s impossible. And that’s freeing. This is what the vibes are, for me, right now; there’s a fluctuating and imaginary and invented line between the online and the offline, the digital and the analogue. They bleed and layer. Jitter effect. Add noise. And so this whole room is a landscape. Cos our experience of a landscape is clouded by connotations and memories and subjectivity. We can’t look at anything as it’s presented to us. There is no such thing as a pure ‘object’. There are only verbs. And I wrestle with that truth, the murkiness and the layers and the symbols and unvisionable subjective nuances. I wrestle with that, and try to turn it into a blink-by-blink experience - stripped of the nuance. I try to see the world as its rules and formulae and protocols - rather than experience their effects. But it’s both. We may invent the rules and propogate them, but we do this collectively and then they are real- their effects are real even if they have no empirical footing. Both can be true.
We are already in AR. Our language is glitch.
